Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dick very happy bro
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
