I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
did you just send me my own nude
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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