her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
