5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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