a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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