"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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