Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
