Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
