I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
