Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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