dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
