I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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