I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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