He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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