I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
