I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
