Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
