She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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