last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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