Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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