I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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