oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
