Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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