Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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