$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
