Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
