At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize