If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
