im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
