apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
is it fun? or sober?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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