So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You need Xanax blowdarts
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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