you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
