I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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