Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize