I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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