is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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