remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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