I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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