remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
