its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize