Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
