I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
