i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
