why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
