so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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