So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
