Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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