and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
