I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
