just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is my gift to your gina
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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