You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
