i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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