we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
