Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
