That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
