She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize