That's intense
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
