apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
