If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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