I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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